Do you remember the precious moment you discovered you were pregnant with your first child? I’m sure that a flood of thoughts and emotions came pouring in. Happiness. Fear. Excitement. Insecurity. Will it be a boy? A girl? Will it be healthy? Happy? Become a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant or athlete? Will I drive a mini van to soccer practice or cry on their first day of school? You probably felt excited to see their eyes, feel their touch, hear their laughter and rock them to sleep. I wonder, did you ever once think, “I’m ready to compete against every single mother on the planet to prove I am the ULTIMATE MOTHERING CHAMPION!! Bring it on, Moms!”
Exactly. Neither did I. In fact, until all of this ‘Tiger Mom Controversy’ I wasn’t fully aware there was a competition going on. Anyone else feel that way? Sure, there have been times and certain conversations with the occasional acquaintance that I felt a competitive vibe and I usually distance myself from that type of personality. I can not seem to comprehend why women feel the need to be competitive of one another. I didn’t understand it when I was a teenager and I don’t understand it now. I’ve always been a jeans & t-shirt kind of girl and never saw the sense of make up. It’s false. You’re pretending to be something you’re not. I have always felt like a person needs to accept me for me, just the way I am or move along. I’m not going to pretend. I’m not going to play games or put on a front. Now, I’m not saying I’m against make up and if there were a special occasion I might wear it. I’m just saying it doesn’t seem to be beneficial to hide behind it.
In the same way, I don’t see the benefit in hiding behind false confidences in ones own abilities. The simple truth is, we’re all wrong; At some point, some days, about some things and even ‘our greatest medical minds’ seem to waver constantly on what qualifies as healthy, safe and good for you. How many different opinions are there about the benefits and consequences of eggs? How many pharmaceuticals have been promoted to be a solution, only to cause more problems? Everyone is wrong. Why? Because life is a learning experience. You do the best you can with the information you have at the time. Our lives, personalities, situations and the people in them are unique and the variables are as numerous as the stars in the sky. There is no one right answer for everyone. You can’t assume that your ways, thoughts and ideas are superior to someone else’s simply because they are different from your own. The only exception might be if someone else’s beliefs and practices inflict actual pain and physical conflict with other people. You’re rights end where someone else’s rights begin. So what if Mom 1 expects her daughter to practice piano for hours or forbids television or if Mom 2 likes the liberal approach of letting her child express themselves at their own whim. Neither is right or wrong. Neither is superior or inferior. They are simply different. It is our differences that give life flavor. Why can’t we embrace the ‘to each his own’ philosophy among mothers? Isn’t it hard enough just getting through the day without attacking each other too? Where is that ‘sisterhood’ women are supposed to be bonded by? These days it seems more like a lynch mob.
I welcome any thoughts if you would like to share them and please pass this along!